Dear Mr. Nerd,
I have two questoins for you today:
1) As you can tell from my email address I play Call of Duty: World at War constantly. But I always seem to get more deaths than kills. What do you think is the best set up for the Sabatoge game mode? This is how I have set up my class: Primary weapon: FG42 with bipod, Side Arm: Tokarev TT-33, Primary Grenade: Frag, Special Grenade: Signal Flare, Perk1: M9A1 Bazooka x2, Perk2: Flak Jacket, Perk3: Second Chance, and Vehicle Perk: Coaxial Machine Gun. Could you please tell me what you use in detail? (You must obviously have this game, because if you don't then you are not a true "nerd". P.S.: what's your favorite map?
2) My girlfriend has recently broke up with me because she says she is tired of seeing me play this game? What should I do? She claims that it is too disgusting for her to see brains spurt out of zombie brains and to see my avatar's body parts fly across the screen when a tank shell hits me. She wants to date someone more serious. So for Valentines day I took her to the most realistic thing apart from actual war; this is so she can see the beauty of war gaming that I see, I took her to play airsoft. After the game she took me aside saying that she wanted to talk to me about something important: she said, "Look at me! Here I stand covered in welts, cuts, bruises, and mud, and for what! To see "the beauty in war"? WELL I DON'T LIKE IT AND WE ARE THROUGH!" And then she spat in my face and stormed off. So I went to her apartment that night to say how sorry I am and that I would quit my addiction. When I rang the doorbell there was no answer. I thought at the time that she must have looked through the peep hole in her door, saw me, and decided nto to answer. So I took the key from under her doormat and opend her door. The lights were on. I called her name. No answer. I thought I heard a noise coming from one of the rooms. So I went to that door and opened it to find that she was having sex with this guy. Yes sex. They were ass naked having sex and she was orgasming! Then she saw me and screamed. The man she was having sex with saw me then got up and rushed at me. I ran for my life. He was the big football type and was I would guess 6 foot 4. Anyway he chased me and grabbed a knife from the counter screaming" I'm gonna kill you!" Thankfully I was able to reach the elevator and escape. What should I do?
Thx,
callofdutyworldatwarfanatic
Dear callofdutyworldatwarfanatic,
I will now answer your questions one at a time
1) Here's a cool way to win in the Sabotage game mode: arm yourself with a standard pistol and a flamethrower, all other settings don't matter. When the game is loading, press these buttons in sequence: , O, X, X, ∆, ∆, X, X, ∆, X, X, O, R3. You have to do this fast before the game actually starts. Then, upon entering the battlefield, get a headshot with a pistol on one of your enemies within thirty seconds. Then, kill one of your allies with your flamethrower in the ensuing thirty seconds. Then, with your pistol, shoot into the air five times. You will then see the screen go fizzy, before you return on the field as the Dragon of Looor. You will then be able to trash your enemies (and friends) for two minutes before the game automatically declares you (as "DARGON OF LAR") the winner. I like all of the maps. I really don't have a favorite.
2) Stop moping over your girlfriend. What a whore! You break up with her and the same night she's sleeping with another guy? What the fuck? You should definitely go ruin her life for being such a damn bitch. But maybe she has a point - Call of Duty is very violent and you shouldn't play it too often because it has been shown (by the University of Denver in a 2008 study) that
Call of Duty: World at War causes massive brain damage and even seizures among those who play it 10% or more of their waking lives. Also, airsoft it not for women. Why the hell would you take your girlfriend to an airsoft game? It's not even real war! It's just a bunch of tween fags running around with fake guns pretending to be all macho, but when the Soviets invade, they hide in their basements and cower in fear. So there! To summarize:
Contention 1: Use the cheat to win Sabotage.
Contention 2a: Get over your girlfriend, she was a whore.
Contention 2b: Don't play violent video games or do violent things with your girlfriend.
Great! Hopes this helps! Cheerio!
- The Nerd